It is a convicting example, and maybe it's harsh and probably it's not the way I would have spoken it, but here is approximately what he said...then adapted it to my situation.
One day when I stand before God, I don't want to stand there and say to him, "God, look at what happened at Grace Point! People whose lives were destroyed received grace and love, people who needed hope, got it in you through what happened there. Isn't it great?!" Only to have God say to me, "Yeah, but where are your kids? Where's Ben? Where's Hannah? Where's Owen?"I don't know if he meant it as a guilt thing, but I am sitting in the library crying my eyes out. Am I discipling my kids? Do I care more about the grace and hope that people gain at grace point then the grace and hope that is needed at home...I don't want that to be true. And the wave of emotion I am feeling is indicating to me that there may be some truth to it.
I don't think I am taking it as a guilt thing, maybe more as a convicting thing, something that will lead me to be a better husband and Father. I hope so.
It's not to devalue other people in my life...but just to value my family, the way they should be.
Where does this leave me?
I don't know, it's raw, and maybe shouldn't be broadcast on the internet...but I thought I needed to process this thought while it was fresh...and no one in the library seemed to be willing to comfort me and wipe my tears. So, there it is...