Nicky and I were reading through the information that was given to us at the convention that explained what all the seminars were, there were 12 options for every time slot and it made for difficult decisions on where to go and where not to go. One particular presenter caught my eye, his name was Winfield H. Tutte, here's his bio (as quoted from the National Youth Workers Convention 2007 booklet):
H. Winfield Tutte
"Windiddy," as he's known to his friends, has a PhD, BVD, DVD and YWAM. He's a world-renowned youth worker, writer, speaker, plumber, gymnast, zoologist, and Amway "Double Diamond Super Rich Czar." Part of his amazing testimony inludes being raised by a pack of wolves who taught him his amazing ability to scratch himself (and others) with his feet. He's traveled across Rhode Island and back again with spiritual giants like Ron Luce, Borat, Billy Graham, Bono, the late Mister Rogers, and David Crowder. And he's currently working with Lindsey Lohan and Paris Hilton on a curriculum about decision making for teenage girls.
- Casting Out Demons with a Light Fly rod (Renaissance Hotel Pool)
- Teaching Teenage Boys How to Kick the Crap out of Non-Christians (2nd Floor guys Bathroom)
- Staying Ahead of Culture: Dazzling Teens with 3-D Flannelgraphing (IMAX Theatre)
- Making Square Dancing Christian (The Peek-a-Boo Lounge)
- How to Make Your Students Believe They're Having a Good Time Whey They Really Aren't - free Kool-Aid to the first 25 who show up! (The Jones Memorial Carpet Room)
- Helping Home-Schooled Kids Catch a Freakin' Clue (The Family Room)
It took a while for me to clue in that these were a total joke...I have to explain, there are a lot of jokes throughout all the information that we get for all these things. So, I knew that there were a lot of jokes going on here, but I wasn't sure if there actually would be seminars in the places and times that they were advertised for...until Nicky said, "of course it's a joke, you idiot!" Why wife she's real smart.
I decided to write an email to Tic Long and Mark Oestreicher just to have some fun with the whole thing...this is what I wrote and then their responses:
-----Original Message-----Sent: Sunday, November 04, 2007 06:08 PM Eastern Standard Time To: Oestreicher, Mark
Subject: Got beat up by H. Winfield Tutte
Marko,I have to say that I am somewhat frustrated...I come from a small city in Canada all the way down here to St. Louis and have had a horrible experience. In my youth group I have been really encouraging the young people to be "different" to stand out and be unique...not to worry when persecution comes, but to face it head on. Well lately my teenage boys have been getting beat up at school because of how great they are and the way that they follow my instructions. I am proud of them, but wanted to help. When I saw H. Winfield Tutte's seminar entitled "teaching teenage boys how to kick the crap out of non-christians" I was very excited, now I could actually give them something that they could really use...talk about being practical! I showed up in the guys 2nd floor washroom @ 7:55 and was disappointed to see that there was no one there, I waited a while and eventually a man walked in that I thought looked a lot like H. Winfield Tutte's picture in the brochure...you know, he had a mustache, a large belt buckle, a big tattoo and was approximately 6'3" and 275. My heart beat with anticipation, finally I would be able to teach my kids something. I stood there and waited...he just walked past and visited the urinal...he washed his hands and walked past me and kind of looked at me wierd. He was about to leave when I said (you can understand the frustrated tone) "Hey, buddy, are we going to get this thing started?" He answered back, in a none too friendly tone, "What are you talking about?!" I said, "you know the fighting thing." I don't know if he misunderstood me, but I don't remember what happened next but I woke up at 11:00am on the floor of bathroom stall, my hair was wet and my head hurt bad. I don't know who you get in to do these things, but, seriously, you should check them out a little more carefully.
Frustrated...and hurt...Trevor Berg
Later I received a response:
From: Oestreicher, Mark
Sent: Monday, November 05, 2007 4:31 PM
Dude, you really had me going for a bit on this one!Mark OestreicherPresidentYouth Specialties
Then again another response:
From: Long, Tic
Sent: Wednesday, November 07, 2007 11:32 AM RE: Got beat up by H. Winfield Tutte
Dude that is awesome. BTW I don’t know if you were still there but I read you letter in the last general session….classic. Keep us informed on your journey…tic
One of the things I love about this convention is their willingness to have fun and to make fun of themselves.