My life is full of programs that I have thought up, ministries that I lead. I believe in them, I think they do good things, exciting things, probably even God-ordained things. I also try to do great things with my family, fun things, family-building things, even things that intend to lead them to see a picture of what Jesus looks like. Is it possible that even these things are vanity? Is it possible that the things I hold most dear are like a vapour?
I listened to two sermons on the way home from Boissevain yesterday. Both of them were from the Youth Specialties convention - NYWC last year. I have had them on my iPod for almost a year now without listening to them. Interestingly enough, after all this time they both really hit me at an appropriate time. I have been really struggling with the idea of just focusing on seemingly small things and both these sermons (one by Francis Chan and one by Phil Vischer) talked about how the only thing that really matters is that we are completely in love with Jesus, above any dream, ministry or vision.
I am so convinced right now that the only thing that matters in my life is to passionately pursue Jesus. Cultivating that relationship with him through connecting with him through prayer and reading the Bible, and through seeing him in the eyes of other people (especially those in need).
I am starting to feel a bit of a sense of freedom from all the dreams, ministries and programs that I have put before myself. I am realizing that my full pursuit ought to be squarely on relating to Jesus and living like him. I am praying that my focus will remain staid on what matters most, because I realize that all else will fall in place as I do that.